George Miller, director and visionary of the whompa’ stomping Mad Max: Fury Road has revealed that he based the movie’s apocalyptic wasteland on a planet Earth which did not listen to Matt Belamy from Muse’s apocalyptic stadium rock warnings. In an exclusive interview he said: “I’ve been a fan of Muse ever since they started as a […]Read more "NEWS REPORT: Dystopian Wasteland of Mad Max Based on Muse Frontman’s Apocalyptic Lyrical Warnings"
Nausea and bleeding from the ears reported after hearing songRead more "NEWS REPORT: SUSPECTED EBOLA CASES SOAR AS GELDOF RELEASES RE-HASHED SINGLE"
Celebrations were short-lived in the German control centre of the European Space Agency after its £1 Billion mission to land on a comet ended in calamity. The Philae lander successfully parted from its mother-ship after a 10 year journey only to end up crash landing in a closed down Comet store in Barnsley. A statement from […]Read more "NEWS REPORT: Philae Probe Lands on Comet store in Barnsley"
Bar staff, supermarket shelf-stackers, record shop workers – all important jobs, some would argue they’re the lubricant that keeps society functioning. They’re omnipresent beings – you never notice people like them, but should they disappear, bellies would be rumbling and police drunk-tanks would be vacant. But, It seems that a record number of people in […]Read more "NEWS REPORT: Increasing number of bar staff take up music to help pay bills."
A new report has been released by the National Marijuana Research Center detailing that weed smokers are more likely to know more than medical professionals. The report has found that, due to their un-employed and philosophical nature, marijuana users have ample spare time to research and elaborate upon medical theories. A striking contrast to fully trained medical practitioners – who hardly have any […]Read more "NEWS REPORT: Those that smoke weed more knowledgeable than doctors."
Tuesday 09:30, 10 Downing Street. After a stressful few months pandering to UKIP voters and monitoring the situation in Ukraine, British Prime Minister David Cameron finally had a chance to check his Facebook account. After ‘liking’ a video of Prince Harry doing the ‘Helicopter-dick’ infront of a hooting audience of Army buddies, he came across this […]Read more "NEWS REPORT: Uplifting Facebook post ushers in world peace."
After coming across this delightful hippy bullshit. I decided to write my own list of why you shouldn’t get a job: 1. You have to get up everyday. The biggest piece of bullshit in the book; getting out of bed. Bed is god. Bed is the most comfortable place in the world. I often see pictures of bed-bound […]Read more "10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Get A Job"